forever young

will I really be forever young, listening to songs that remind me of yesterday, or so it would seem. I remember some things as though in my mind they are on video, picture perfect smiles and laughs. Shall we reminisce of what we missed out on, what cant be undone. I rely on words at times when words do me no help, no justice. a little ambition bought from a story teller. If we could live forever what would be the rush, slow down and speak to me gorgeous. no bullshit. I will be here forever, but not for too long. I hear these music for me, the sad man. forever young. a tune brings more memories, a graduation lost and one to come. the end.

chameleon

Recently read revelation
we come to learn things in our lives
mistakes are more often our teachers
even over and over
its not an option anymore
a responsibility to a freudian self
dont let lessons drift into disrememberance
what we dont repeat to ourselves
we are destined to repeat with err
mar our vision with metaphorical mud in the eye
dont allow anything to go unsaid
for these are the words that will haunt your forever
biggest regrets, the things we rue
were words you conjured
but never delivered
so take your time if you must
but keep watch on your wrist
give birth to your thoughts
allow your ideas to grow
and in the end if all you brought about was an end
the birth of the death of a thought is nothing to keep you distraught
give pause to whats said and done
allow time to pass
time is not an enemy to those who need not hide
your skin is the same wherever you go
no change is made in idle
be true and keep to truth
liars lie more to themselves than anyone else
...
an adage as an end:

Tomorrow will never be now,
Yesterday is gone forever,
Today is simply the tomorrow you worried about yesterday,
So its time to live in the now,
Be present.

In Lieu of anything better

It would seem as though something is now missing
I think its not far off
seen easily with unclouded eyes
a vision less marred
so I must continue to add this or that
then take whichever away when its doesnt fit
this inspiration, not really that at all
more sought after
seeking clarity in this time of social brevity
coming to an end far too quickly
two years spent, and change in return
so many stories, walls and buildings screaming their tales
architectual silence to all but those with the right minds
and weve come this far
to now look all the way back at who we were
where were we going, did anyone know
does anyone now, with all that we now know it seems like more doors opened for the ones that have closed
and so many trails of ink, spilt on paper
ending with consistent spots...
after the other they fall in place with a small carpel dab
I know not of what I speak, and this I know, therefore you must teach me
I will guide you to an understanding, we will tie the loose ends together
hanging on a ledge, bracing on impact as though the fall were real
a night time tic, twitch to open eyes and see...
nothing again
darkness is no longer my friend
and how I wish I had a poem to keep me up
something to look at, say why did you do that
no reason, just staying awake
apnea is a strange word
improper english, I couldnt sleep because i found 'an pea'
....
nonsense, letting pieces fall
places set with out a place to sit
turn up my bass
booster will take me to space
I sit with headphones on
music creating a void
I need not think of anything else
but bass lines drum kicks and guitar riffs
maybe that was a micro-Korg...
maybe...

If I were to you
what you are to me
what could we be
could it be true
would it seem real
if we were a team
what some call a dream
maybe lessen the ordeal
I've called on my friends
and heard from good men
so many lessons I've learned
yet what have I earned
gained understanding
made personal amends
so what to take away
from all of this
to keep in the front of my mind
...
poor poetry has become what I know
less and less it seems to help grow
so soon again I must look back
make sure to understand
what I claim to understand
I see stars in my mind
so distant
so beautiful
shimmering brightly on a blank canvas
gone in the bright light
and back in the black
to relate what I mean
to something I know
when stars reach the sky
and show their true beauty
you reach for the dream
and see that its too far
so back to the ground, the earth you must sit
and know that this beauty
must not have been meant
not for your hands, not in your arms
but simply for eyes to give blessing
and then when you least expect
a star will shoot across the sky
lighting up the darkest night
falling to earth, alit and aflame
these I must seek
go far and head wide
and when I discover the place where its landed
then I can settle for what I have found
an angel I seek, in ink I will keep
forever till time has called in my life
till then I will travel to the ends of this earth
so I know what it is that I love the most
...
Most Beautiful Star In My Starry Night
Let Me See Where You Intend To Be
Shimmer With Might
I Will Keep You In Sight
....
poetry it seems has escaped me
my means for expression
turns into digression
I have no prose
no path
no purpose
in writing these words
My only hope
is my words will grow
and learn to write
what it is that I know
and what it is that I dont
...
enough

This seems a good place to begin
somewehere more comfortable
someplace I know
with people I love
seperate worlds colliding in unison
seeking similar goals
lifestyles coninciding
and soon
all around the world
these people I know I hope to meet again
Its a scary thought, when time runs out
days spent together
memories made will not be forgotten
Im sure the thoughts will resurface often
but we are all travelling our personal roads
some dirt, some gravel
no matter
the pursuit of happiness needs less in common
I call myself a dreamer
but really, I rarely dream
as a nighttime sleep
but during days, off in a haze
bring me back
I will be here once more
sharing stories and smiles of lore
times too important to pass over
everything shining bright in my mind
always
I'll be good
....

The Great Escape

A new bad day has come upon us
day to day we can never make the inevitable go away
how long must you search before you turn to dust
new doors and brighter suns
a great escape is fine as a concept
yet seems to relate too closely to running away
hiding from truth like a child playing hide and seek
dont let yourself fall down
your strong
your influence on the world is greater than you know
so look today for what it is you need
continue on, moving up this life your building
you cant leave behind the things you are
breathe and embrace
by and by these things we see will come to pass
another looking glass for war to rage on
your life, your mind, remember....yours
its ok to be afraid
you dont need to win everyday
but when you loose, dont be afraid
dont hide your shame, its not real
merely a feeling
on your bad day when your looking for your great escape
remember me

"Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired" - Robert Frost

I came across this piece from Robert Frost and couldn't help but pause and try to ponder how I thought about it. I cannot agree more that love is an irresistible desire, my own life and actions in many different walks of my own life have proven this too me to be true. Yet that is just to me, and the other romantics in this world, always seeking the sweet ideal of that one other person with whom we can share all that we are and in turn have them share who and what they are back. A seemingly never ending pursuit of what is here called the desire to be desired, and irresistibly. That would be so nice, I often think of people in my life who seem to always have someone else knocking at their door, and I can't help but think how great that could be, without trying they have become irresistibly desired, yet the don't share that same desire that I do, for the most part it would seem. Which only leads me to believe that to be of constant desire to someone out there could have the potential to create a want to wane this desire within yourself, let ebb the tide that rises inside when the heart tries to involve. So to live life for now with basic idea of just saying "fuck it" seems about right. I find a subtle enjoyment in the tasks and challenges that life throws in my direction and even though these challenges have there toll on my persona for some times what seems like ages, a new person can emerge at the end of it all stronger, smarter, perhaps better than before. Robert Frost is a very good Canadian poet and author, I think I need to read more of his works.

From the same source as the Robert Frost piece I found this:
"the meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed." - Carl Jung

I like this a lot because its meaning or underlying concept is far more broad in its outreach than the other I wrote about. How many people in my life can I say have actually changed who I am? Recently I could name a lot of people, but how many really did actually affect, either positively or negatively, who it is that I am in this world. I have but a few really good friends with whom I am willing to share my personal thoughts and ideas beyond simple writing and shit shooting. Those are people who definitely transformed my being and my personality, in all cases for the better and some for the worse as well. The thing I can't help but think about this concept of chemical substances and reactions is of the magnitude of this chemical reaction and its subsequent affect on personality. How the gravity of certain situations can so adversely affect so much about a personality, and do so very quickly. Recovery from these occasions can be such a test of your own drive to be who you want to be, and to not let anything keep you down. But then I tend to fall into that category a lot so it makes sense that my mind could jump to such conclusions. At any rate I think what can be taken away from this particular piece is that meeting people is an important part of helping to create who you are, allowing you many different points of view and ideals worth living for and allowing you to build who you are from those views and ideals, perhaps shaping, if even finitely, how it is you see this world of ours and how you intend to spend your days here. But I will always remember that sometimes if left unchecked, these reactions of chemical significance can be devastating and require a lot of cleaning up down the road.

We are who we are because this is who we allow ourselves to be, morals and ideals are the building blocks of all great people, be sure to understand your own as you go out into the world. I understand that I have morals and ideals and that by living my life I will find as many different people and places to help and shape what those are.

Love is an ideal that for now I cannot deal with, though bring on the chemistry

who are we
to say what we mean
times and trials feign to create who we are
we offer our perception
no more
too often less
sitting in corners holding our tongues
pretending to be what were not
not with purpose do we hide our skin
but out of neccessity
to become what is norm
what will be thought of us if we speak with our minds
what will become of us
a momentary pause in the midst of it all
a mind moving around a time frozen place
seeing all there is and deceiving only ourself
hectic movements from the corner of our eyes
now symmetry
together as it should be
one two three, four
on the last a kick

now to begin a piece
turn on a song
could be important
although
doesnt have to be
close my eyes and let the music sink in
now it matters
a sound that creates or relates to thoughts I am thinking
put them down for now
Lately my sounds have come from one source
given for shared ears
headphones play the latest tune
aloud I will kill, scream for what is real
what is true, what belongs and what must go
I hear what I am told to listen
so listen with ears obeying
to every word
every change in tempo
the beat switches and my mind flips
I listen and hear
I dream of sunrises and hands in hands
I want to hold your hand while your screaming for the kill
and in the morning
when the dew has settled
a horizen alit with fire
I will be sure to keep steadfast my grip
hundreds of miles can seperate two beings
or merely a few feet
its not physical distance that has me stuck in this mystical trance
no more greater are my woes than the sorrows of another
attempt to avoid a rush
blood to the head
allow time to deal with what times does best
heal
and sounds we can sing when the future is ours
a past was forsaken for another who had played their cards
pushed forward stacks, and gone all in
A bed shared or a couch or a floor
either way arms in arms and legs wrapped in legs
two as one embracing with one small difference
an invisible yet undeniable fence
do not cross where here you tread
for what it is that lies ahead
worse than knowledge
its the uncertain of what will be
of the actors on stage hidden behind velvet
when to the world is raised the curtain
see how we move, how we sing, how we dance
do you approve, will we hear a clap
or a pin drop
a head get hot
and a gap forever uncrossed
we lie in wait for what it is we can create
future sounds of uncertainty
no rythm, only feet
no, miles
for now we write a play for later
....
how much is too much and how far too far

My Daily Crossword

No Return
have I done this one
I dont think
thats three to do
open to see a clue I remember
coincidence maybe
two clues I remember
damn
I think Tuesdays done on Mondays night
early morning seeking new words
a challenge to keep
my daily routines
not many, so this is made easy
check the clue then storm the brain
let words spill forth
understand definition
search for connections
inside and out
the box is a box only when put together
so if its taken apart
neither inside nor out
aha
on top
I figured it out
my madness on early morning gridlines
still I have no clue
how do they do it
oh well
some things are better left to those better at it
I will simply enjoy and offer my thanks by striving for times
my daily routine
the globe and the mail
small maple leaf icon
atop a page in a tab labeled 'Cross...'
Options
Exit Puzzle
'Solve This Puzzle'
....
I think I will

Ode to the great man who left me a note

A complete human being must love and feel pain, experience both and all in between. Cruel is the balance of good versus evil, it seems so easy to dismiss the former in view of the latter. love versus pain. which effects most, that which you let in this lifes great test...I guess. Raised to percieve the world with compassion, in some way I understand my selfish need for some passion. A desire was learned through a yen for more, why still do the ones cared for seem to have to go. Individual direction is cause for my hearts minds imperfection, lack of understanding, or rather, unwillingness to do so in timely fashion. Yes they do hurt, yes we bellow with tears creasing lines, experience pain, embellish our words to relish in what is gone until we learn to open our eyes again. A painful memory stored deep away, thought on with sad songs but still, we learn to cherish what was done and what has gone. Unexpecting surprises or new places, the next leg up, this is the test to moving on, allowing to let feet continue to move forward proverbially so. New love seems an old adage, but I learn from written words. So in the end I will learn that it is care I must take, and away from every place and every surprise, unexpect the expected and allow for the pursuit to continue. - new words to offer new perspective, a reflection in a carnival glass, we know what we look like, but still our eyes can be tricked. time to enjoy the festival that is this world. - love Son

turn it on
power it up
pass the word
wait for the rest
images flicker
icons jump out
click the haloed e
first link on the bar
wait for the rest
images flicker
white screen turns blue
first things first
whos with me
always look first for you
its something
I can not pretend not to do
bottom right this time
little blue man
admit my status
search again
click the name
begin to type
pause
what should I write
I know
type
wait
enter
wait
....
is this routine

symbols mean a thousand words

Could it be a heart left anonymously?
or was that just saying greater than three? <3
I will go with heart
easy to perceive
this heart placed with no name
do not kiss and tell
good words to kiss with
blindfold me and kiss me again
I wont tell them who you are
hidden from the world
away from leering eyes
...
your simple sign of affection
admirer shrouded in secret
no digital signature to reveal a name
more simple this heart can be
simply purveying a shared emotion
one which was read from written words
I understand your words they said
I know what here you write
yet
what to write
secret admirations from anonymous
I read what you have written
not in word but symbol
representing picture
a thousand more words than I have written
I know what ther you wrote
yet
what to write...
simple
<3
Thanks for understanding