up north, out east, down south, the west
for cardinal directions we've seen them all

This place could be better titled "My soul when I cannot talk anymore"
I am no whiz with words when they spill forth
my mouth and my mind too often disagree
but pen, paper, keys, and screens
they offer no judgement keenly seen
I write to allow my self the opportunity
I want people to know, but not to acknowledge the truth of their knowing
how this past year has been a lie that kept growing
I told those around me that school was for me
so much that even I would believe
and here I am, torn to the ground
feeling senseless and lost
a path that has become overgrown
I have let my life become tossed
and I turn over in a bed now too cold
writing words in an attempt to be bold
to show myself that I have not lost all
I am not here for no reason
...
I used to be somebody
I cared about things and people
about where I was going
who I was with along the way
what I was going to do
how I was going to do it
a willingness to strive to be better than I was
how lost have I become

this day

How long now has this been waiting in the shadows
all the while a blind eye was turned
a small indecent hope that things would just get better
it would all work out
how wrong I was
if our prime purpose in this life is to help others
the least we can do is not hurt each other
a skill that I fear I have developed to well
in deeper and darker places the sun will always rise
it does you no good to simply await its coming
move and do and be
don't take what isn't right as the only truth
my truth now is hidden from me
shrouded by a selfish lie
in my place of solitude I have locked out all others
without thought of what I was doing to them
how hard it is be to be the only one who cared
for that I am eternally sorry
five meaningless letters to form a meek apology
words lack the emotion to express what has happened
how I have wronged the one that I love
so much that I created a distance greater than the physical
thousands of kilometres are no match to a lack of words
so quickly I move to remorse
rue who I am
know that I love you
and behold the greatness you are