Ive denied it for so long now that I dont want to know what it is anymore
Im not gonna leave but I dont know if I can stay
I get down on myself for no real reason
I cant understand why but this is the reason why I left tonight
I didnt have a place
where will we be, what are we doing
from here and now until then and there
such little time it seems were creating a lie
so I will lay thee down to sleep
tuck up and pull in the sheets
but know that I cant commit
no more than I would want to ask you to do
I would say that we have such a short time together
and in this we should make the greatest out of what we are given
but im burning up
I cant tell you what it really is, I can only try to tell you what it feels like
I see you and inside I smile
keep a straight face on the outside
keep this a secret from everyone who already knows
I can get so caught up in my own thoughts that I push things forward so quickly
I am learning to step back now
let be what can be and not force you into me
with this thought I hope to grow
to be more likely to never feel sorrow
...
lies to self
unfortunate feelings
sated emotion
gorgeous lady
hidden
I keep me out of sight
prevent the end
bring into the light
I try to not care so much
to keep at bay my habits
I fall so quickly so often
I need to step back
pinch my arm
this isnt really a dream
my real life
a piece of a tree floating freely down river
following the ebb and flow of tide and eddy
taking the path of least resistance
but I always find the deadly features
a recirculation
over and over, loosing my breath
cant keep my head above water
pulled down to the green room
an undercut keeps me pinned
praying for a safety line
but it takes too long
what it feels like to drown
watch me burn
ashes floating
skyward
heat pushing high
coming to rest where the wind blows best
a campfire shining in the night
hold you warmth, create a comfort
I could hold you in my arms
sincerely
if you will allow
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