lifelong desire to learn why I yearn for such things unfathomable
how to create something stable, I am yet unable
trying to see what it is that continues to burn in my mind
A fire lit will not burn out, always lingering
hidden away in the back of a mind
are the embers of lost desire
a moment is what it takes
a spark to relight
I am always sitting at the first step
learning to refuse an overactive heart
force forward an under appreciated mind
...
I hear the voices of angels
a sound rushes in like sirens of yore
sitting on cliffs edge
calling the names of lost men
I stare with eyes wide shut
stuggling to see past my own thoughts
looking outward with inwards percpective
knowing that nothing is real
if real is true
truth is lost on a vixens tongue
sweet words pour forth and wanting ears
selective is the mind in determining what it wants to hear
teach a mind to stop and drop and roll
put out the fire before its out of control
let embers glow in the palm of your hand
give a light breath
brighter light offered
yours to grab
hold close
this fire doesnt burn in the sense of the term
a burning desire can burn you back badly
scars hidden beneath the skin
like tatoos with better stories
a lifetime
...
they say learning will never end
forget the conventional sense
to learn is to mistake
makes errors and change the ingredients
to prevent an unatural decent
loss is for better or worse
to learn which is right is the constant fight
...
I know you have a voice like an angel
singing with every breath
blinded by a halo
with perfect reasoning I write more nonsense
simple is a feeling of lust
not us though
lust set aside a different path was chosen
a similarity that was spoken
then broken
forever fixing in mind like a prison
intellectual torture
I hear a voice in my dreams
a smile accompanies
a face glows
the ember burns
give me a breath
I need to breathe

short and sweet
not much else
treats are thoughts that last too long
I miss, i want
desire is mine
wherever you are
I am me
and me can be yours
hold tight to fleece at nite
a new years kiss
two thousand miles away
goodnite.

new words
new worlds
understand the ability to comprehend
view the world from an outside perspective
take into account all that happens around you
realize that nothing happens for any reason
things happen
so be it
grow
be
do what matters most in your heart
keep up with what your mind is thinking
thoughts are not there for you to act on always
but for consideration
the implication of ideas in a mind is far to outrageous for action in motion
take what you know
know what you see
see what you are
and change what you need
Love
the ultimate struggle in a mind such as mine
get in or get out
Im tired of being kind
I love because I do
Thats who I am
I respect who I meet
unless you ask for less
more is not given without proper give
I love unconditional
and for that I am forsaken
but until I understand me
I will continue to be me
whoever you are
Its a pleasure to meet you
...

Female companion where have you gone
Left in the dust with dirt on my knees
practical begging and pleading was wrong
it was all for a kiss that I strived to seize


Tell me your mine and hold me tight
call me every single night
tell me you miss me and stay on the phone
to tell me you've met him, the ex, back home


We are close friends, with a future not certain
maybe something from this will happen
but dont expect anything the same
all you've done is make the chase a game


I am not after your heart anymore
your heart is too cold, and I want some warmth

........

Revisision is needed after certain realization
Review and rewrite, a point mistakenly made
I know not the position of any heart but my own
these words that are written, also my own
my own view, and interpreptation
often given without extra thought
take them with more than a single grain of salt.
these pages I write on are here for relief
a way to vent and release some grief
your heart is mine because my heart turned cold
I wrote yours without thinking that it was mine all the time
I took things harshly and wrote right away
I tried to push when I wanted you to stay
distance isnt easy, an evil in my mind
...
see again I write more than I meant to

For now I leave this for consideration
I truly miss you, but until then adieu

I seek opinion like an addict seeks new addiction
What keeps on keeping is my need for assessment
I am who I will be and this I know well
Yet still I am who I want to be to show you I am me
Craving an input from another mind
Sick Obsession?
Or is it just simple discretion
Do I seek for my own sake of mind
Or a chance to improve my kind?
This I dont know
I care to care too much
I will take a bullet for far too little
Feeling fleeting for fair ladies
I will fal under my own weight and stand again with yours
Load of burdens too heavy to hold
Still I will walk on without a say in a rude world
I speak with my writing and not with my words
Digression is my obsession
A lesson to be learned, take away from this all
You find you own, I am not here to preach or teach
Your opinion is all this is made for
Simple really
Ask yourself

Fierce can words be when said without feelings.
You must stop and think before you write, do, speak.
Comprehension is hard to perceive when looking in a mirror
whats left goes right
and whats right goes left
hard to find a balance
To trick the mind into thinking backwards
Not looking outward for inwards sake
But looking outward with inwards take
Grasp what is presented you
And admire what you get
But don't forget to act with your heart
Your heart is wisdoms guidance
Your travler and guide,
to live you life and offer more
But take heed of what hearts do say
They act on impulse all the way
Good hearts have good heads
Use your heart and listen to your mind
Act with feelings, not on them
Step forward surely, leave doubt behind
It shows no place where hearts meet hearts and minds love minds
Dont bend you will
Its all that is yours
Speak what is true
Or speak not at all

into this again
no purpose for words
no structure in mind
only thing that realy matters
in finishing on time
less than eleven hours
from now until deadline
three thousand words short
of a masterpiece
false report
given points to conclude a means
for segments and sectors of industry plans
no sense, nonsense, verbal diahrrea
honestly I sit here avoiding contemplation
bring me masses and show me papers
leave me be when it comes to reports
A mind can take as mucha s it gives
but breaking points are real, and im overdue
Ive spent all my energy, my thoughts were like glue
held together with lyrical simplicity
never fully understating the power of gravity
not gravity of objects or earths natural pull
but gravity of words and the minds natural will
a will to perceive, understand, comprehend
use what is seen to promote mental growth
now slurs i have slung and this page is no song
I lost track long ago and now write wandering words
they float through my vision
each pausing a second
or two
they're right or their wrong
there confusing
they throng
like masses of bodies moving to the beat
drum and bass taking over the feet
and this truly is no small feat
words are all similar and some are the same
so how do I continue to ....
I see
the end

to be... 12/10/09

if only i knew where to begin, i could offer you more than this simple shigrin I call a piece of writing designed especially for non other than my one other, a better side who knows, thats not for me to tell, but hell, let me tell you a thing or two that I have come to understand, first is that I will never truly grasp the latter, no hold no handle just a path and a hope for no scandel, road blocks are lifes jokes, puns played against your fate, so great you may say, fuck this, im done, its over, but no more over is it than the weather relies on the scared shadow of some gopher living in the ground all around the year round coming out to provide summer lovers some shimmer of sunshine to melt down our need for tow ropes. nope, shamless are the fameless, seeking nothing more than personal gratitude, rather than lookin out fer the every dude, rippin and shreddin, getting ready to be headin on a vertical circuit, making tracks and pressing pow, stompin bolts and switchin holds.

Morose

Sadness

Tears

Release

Venting

Exhaust

Fumes

Smog

Exhume

Cremation

Death

Burial

Earth

Dirt

Grass

Trees

Flowers

Sunshine

Rain

Clouds

Blue

White

Green

Yellow

Smiles

Eyes

Cheeks

Lips

Kisses

Hugs

Love

See through the pain, the grief, and the bull shit

Look past the bad, the hurt, and the basic

See what is there, what truly exists

See with new eyes, like all is pure vibrance

Look at the beauty that is often missed

Embrace like you’ve never been kissed

Hold on like you will never let go

Love will always be so

l.o. 12/6/09

and if only for a moment you could see into my soul

see past my eyes, and open my heart



your the light in my eye

the hope in my mind

the reason my heart continues to strive

to be alive

I need to be

to see

that we

can be

as one



addition like addoration is simple

but math is complex

two equals one when two forget rules

nothing else matters but what happens next

one plus one equals two equals one

rules dont apply



I see you I smile

and feel the warmth

one kiss is never enough

one more and another

time without you are minutes I count



how do I explain how you make me feel

written words

lyrics of love

So I will tell you something

I think you will understand

When i say that something

I wanna hold your hand



Oh please

say to me

you will let me be your man

and please

say to me

You will let me hold your hand



now let me hold your hand



And when I touch you

I fell happy inside



Its such a feeling

that

my love

I cant hide

I get high



Yeah you

you got that something



I think you`ll understand

I wanna hold you hand

so now it is
a final word
coupled with a fake smile
and shared words no longer exist

keep up from rock bottom
grab hold of yourself
all may be lost
so the journey goes on

one step forward
one foot before the other
look up in the darkness
and walk

walk until your feet stop moving
move until your lungs stop breathing
breath until you heart stops beating

words seem dark when read in the darkness

your light will shine again
give it time
all will unwind

one set of footprints
seen walking through the snow
alone in this world
is not how you are

loosing one isnt loosing many
but the hurt may be more

never knew where to walk anyways
same as before
decrepit we shall be
for now

walk in the darkness
words echo throughing in a soul
all thats inside will need to comply

to move in search of one thing only
and thats to find light in this lack of meaning

Good men may stumble
and more may watch
but better men stand up
and keep up the walk

so fallen you may be
and scraped up for sure
but wounds heal quickly
and then feet can move swiftly

obvious it is still
this echo will last forever
its your choice to listen
and grow

Explosions In The Sky - 12/2/09

All of a sudden I miss everyone

i am the outcast

a soul alone

What do you go home to?

empty thoughts in a quiet mind?

not mine

its natural to be afraid

fear of the unknown

of whats to come

snow and lights

found solace in magical things

a flight of the mind from the trap inside

magic hours

are only with you

sharing a smiles magical powers

glittering blackness

the stars up above

a backdrop for lovers

the only moment we were alone

my heart would quickly beat

counting seconds until a kiss on the cheek, until

time stops

everything does

nothing around moves

your hand in mine

with tired eyes, tired minds, tired souls, we slept

remember me as a time of day

a slow dance

look into the air

the moon is down

have you passed through this night?

the birth and death of the day

so long, lonesome

greet death

help us stay alive

an ugly fact of life

12/2/09

it does more than hurt

it tears at my soul

so hard to be there.

I have no place there.

friendship hurts when more is wanted

i continue on with a heart thats haunted

by flashback memories

...

when deserv'ed justice makes its home

it roots and then rots out

im broken, i know this, im mad

my inspiration is solom with grimace

i find no pleasure in writing these words

just ...

the end